As I neared the table I tried to pull a Kare and appear nonchalant, indifferent, and confident all at once; I failed miserably. I wasn't feeling any of those things and I think it showed. But I silently took my seat between Kare and Lauri and finished my drink. Evan was SO wrapped up with his doll (both his arms around her tiny fucking waist, and his face looking at her adoringly) that he hadn't even noticed my existence yet.
"Let's go dance." Ann said suddenly, seemingly much less affected by the fact that Evan was taken than myself.
"Oooo yeah." Farah said excitedly.
"You want to come?" Lauri asked me as the three were getting up. I looked at Kare, who was actually talking normally with Greg and figured she could take care of herself pretty amazingly.
"Sure." I said as Lauri took my hand and led me to the dance floor. It was a fast song with some serious bass and I was drunk enough to dance without worrying about petty things like how stupid I probably looked. We were all sort of dancing together but not in a lesbian way that most girls think is hot but actually just screams slut. I felt someone behind me and turned around to find myself face to face with my ciggy bummer boy. He had a lazy grin on his tough looking face.
"Mind if I join you?" I gave him a smile and shook my head no; I didn't mind at all. Once pressed together I really let myself go crazy; he seemed to like it and let out short laughs when I would do something especially wild like swish my hair around or twirl him. It could have been an hour or it could have been twenty minutes but soon I found myself over-heated and tired.
"Want to get a drink?" He dipped his head towards my ear and whispered. I nodded a yes and he led me towards the upstairs bar with a hand on my lower back.
"What would you like?"
"A vodka tonic please." He was so well mannered it was making me feel like returning the formalities. His name was Tom and we were making small talk about football (yawn), his father's business (double yawn), and why he thought we needed off shore drilling (kill me) when I caught sight of someone looking at me. It took me a second to realize that it was Evan and the shock and confusion (and thrill) that hit me when I did finally realize must have shown on my face because he quickly looked away. Maybe my mind was playing tricks on me. Maybe the alcohol was. It was nearing two and the bar would be turning on the "look how ugly the person you're about to go home with really is" lights and kicking everyone out soon.
"Well I better go find my friends, they are my ride." I gave a weak smile and Tom nodded his head, understanding my subtle 'I'm not going to sleep with you' line.
"Would it be too obnoxious of me to ask for your number?" I laughed a little because obnoxious is such a funny word but gave it to him anyways. Whether he called or not I didn't really care. I mean, he was nice, he bought me drinks, didn't make fun of my dancing, and despite his heavy Republican ways I enjoyed his company, so, no harm done. Oh, and points for me not being a slut and sleeping with him, woo. Once safely by Kare's side I latched myself to her, our elbows hooked.
"Yes well as much as I'd love to I don't really want to." Was Kare's reply to Greg's after party invitation. She was being a trooper, I super owed her.
"See you Monday bosslady!" Lauri slurred drunkenly. Ann hugged my left leg because she was so drunk she was crawling, and Farah patted me on my head because her heels made her an Amazon.
"Bye kids, see you Monday, be safe...wait, who's driving you drunks?"
"I am." Came the sexy reply from behind me. My chest tightened as I turned around and faced Evan.
"Van has a Suburban so he offered to drive so we could all get drunky. Wouldn't it be funny if Van had a van?" Ann giggled to herself as she strangled my knees. Evan was holding some intense eye contact with me, and he didn't look too happy about my being there. I narrowed my eyes at him because if he hates me then I hate him and he can just go fuck himself or his stupid Lucy Liu wannabe hooker slash bitch! I was suddenly furious.
"Wouldn't it be funny if he were dead?" I gave a mean smile. He glared.
"Wouldn't it be funny if you weren't such a bitch?"
"Wouldn't it be funny if you had better insults?"
"Wouldn't it be funny if you weren't such a bitch?"
"Wouldn't it be funny if you weren't so immature?"
"Wouldn't it be funny if you weren't such a slut?"
"Wouldn't it be funny if I'm not the one who invited four fucking girls here all at once?"
"Wouldn't it be funny if I'm not the one that was throwing herself all over Mr. Jock?"
"Wouldn't it be funny if what the fuck do you care?"
"Wouldn't it be funny if you confuse disgust with caring?"
"Wouldn't it be funny if you two would shut the fuck up?" Kare finally said, ending Evan and mine's duel. I let out a 'hmf' because I'm child and let Kare tug me towards the exit. I shouldn't have turned around, I should have known better, like seriously. But I DID turn around, and I DID see Evan kissing Lucy Liu doll, and I DID throw up once we were by Kare's truck.
"I'm just glad you didn't throw up in my car." Kare was still amazed at our timing. Sixteen seconds sooner and my strangely clear vomit would have been in her truck. I sipped on her yummy pineapple blend as I sat comfortably in my black silk robe on my kitchen table. It was a Saturday morning, my favorite mornings. Charlie Brown sat lazily in Kare's lap as she scratched his belly and ears.
"And what was up with you and that jock dude by the way? You likes?" I shook my head no as I took another sip.
"No, I mean, he was super nice and whatever, but that was about it."
"Yeah and plus, you still want to have Evan's babies."
"At least I'm not dating a red head."
"Shut up I'm not dating him. He is vomitateous."
"Where is Jimmy these days anyways?" She gave a quick shrug.
"Fuck if I know. Probably getting another STD. I'm done with him."
"This is so deja vu."
"It is, it is." Just at that moment my cellphone went off. Kare quirked an eyebrow because nobody calls me ever if it's not her and I pattered over to it lying by the front door.
"Who is this?" I answered bluntly. There was a light laugh on the other side.
"It's Tom." I visibly relaxed which only made Kare's eyebrows peak up as high as her curiosity. 'Tom' I mouthed. She made an o face.
"Oh hey Tom. What's up?" Why the fuck are you calling me at eleven o' clock on a Saturday morning?
"I was actually wondering if you like to golf." Oh BARF.
"A few friends of mine are going this afternoon and I wanted to see if you'd like to join us."
"Oh gee (oh gee?), I wish I could, but I've got to walk my pig." Kare started to laugh and Charlie Brown perked his ears at me, he loves going for walks. Another laugh from Tom.
"Well I've never heard that one before. I've got to give you points for creativity." I laughed a little with him because awkward.
"Heh, but actually I do. He's bossy." Charlie Brown grunted at me.
"Alright alright, well what are you doing tonight?" Um, desperate much?
"Oh um, I don't know yet actually."
"Well would it be alright if I called you later then?"
"Yes, that's fine." I hate when guys ask permission for stupid shit. Like, 'can I kiss you?' or 'can I hold your hand?' or 'is this okay?' um, fuck off and be a man.
"Alright, well I'll talk to you then. Bye Olivia."
"Goodbye Tom." And then I hung up. Kare was laughing her ass off, I glared at her.
"What?"
"Oh gee, I'm a dumb ass, oh um, yes, that's fine, goodbye Tom." She mimicked me all the while laughing.
"Could you two be any more awkward and ew? Is he courting you? Should I come along to make sure he doesn't do anything racy? Wouldn't want your pristine reputation as a marriageable young lady to be ruined by a rake now would we? What would the ton think?"
"Oh shut the fuck up."