I hate Mondays. Especially in my shop. You'd think a cupcake shop would be a fun place to work but it's actually one of the more dramatic and angst-filled places I've ever known. It doesn't help that all of my employees are female; fucking gossiping primadonnas. My cupcake shop is called Lovecakes because I was drunk and it was either that or Sweetcheeks and I wasn't THAT drunk despite what Kare might say. It's a pastel purple and teal colored shop a mile from where I live...the color scheme I can't even pretend to explain. I had an off day and will eternally pay for it...or at least until I can fake a fire and reap the insurance.
"I can't believe he fucking said that to you!" That is Lauri's favorite line. If you need someone to tell you that she can't fucking believe something she's the one to see.
"Like, seriously. What a bastard. Did you kick him in the face? I would have kicked him in the face." Ann likes to tell you what she would have done in every situation she's never been in.
"I know, I know. I told him to pack up his things and get the hell out. I won't sacrifice my morals for a man." Despite what Farah says, she gives up her morals for men on a daily basis. I don't think she actually knows what the fuck morals even are. I poked the back of Lauri's red head and she whipped around with a scowl...which quickly disappeared when she saw me there standing in my uniform. Let me tell you about our uniforms. I ordered cute little old fashioned diner styled dresses with matching white aprons. What we got was the prostitute version of old diner styled dresses and cream colored aprons. Never trust catalogs. I'd return them but I'm a cheap ass and the girls actually love them. Girls will do anything to get away with looking like whores with good reason. Then they can say things like "oh I know, it's so slutty, but I have to wear them or my boss will fire me. (insert fake long suffering sigh here)" So we all prance around in little uniforms that end just below our asses. Mine is a light turquoise, Lauri's is pastel yellow, Ann's is purple, and Farah's is pink. We're all very cute in that sort of vomit all over the place way that only seven year olds in a talent show can get away with.
"Heyyy bosslady, why so glum?" Lauri asked with a tilt of her head.
"Oh you know...men." They all lit up at that. Since I've been working with my little hobags they've known me to have exactly one boyfriend. That same boyfriend is now an ex-boyfriend, and is now also gay, all things my little gossip mongers don't know about yet.
"I don't want to actually discuss this but I know you all won't leave me alone until I spill a few of my guts for observation. So, Trent broke up with me and now he's gay and I get to be known as the girl who turns guys gay, yay. Now turn on the open sign and let's pretend we actually give a shit about cupcakes."
"What's wrong pumpkin? Long day?" Kare said with all the sympathy Hitler would have had. I looked up from the counter where my forehead had been melting.
"It's been the god damned Spanish Inquisition around here." Kare laughed in my face.
"Oh fuck I love your employees; fucking whores are so entertaining."
"Oh, it's you." Lauri said as she came out from the back, giving Kare a once over in disgust.
"No no it's nobody, just Karen!" She yelled back into the kitchen. There were audible sounds of disappointment. Kare hasn't been on good terms with my employees ever since she found out two out of three of them have had relations with Jimmy.
"Ah go fuck a donkey." Kare said with a loving smile on her face. Lauri wrinkled up her nose before sashaying her way back to the kitchen.
"I love that you all get along."
"Yeah so listen. Evankid called me and invited us to go be gay with him. I said we'd come but I'm not going to lie, I plan on bailing so you two can have some more sex. I'm all about you having sex; maybe you'll stop being such a huge bitch from wedgie land if you get some more sex in your pants."
"I'm not hanging out with him. Everytime I hang out with him an angel dies."
"That's a bit much. No no, you are hanging out with him. Besides, I already told him you work here and he's coming to meet us (she did air quotes with her fingers) at five. How much do you hate me right now?" She had a genuine smile on her pretty little face.
"About as much as I hate your mom."
"My mission is complete then. Have fun birdiebye."
"I WILL get you back for this Kare."
"I look forward to it my darling." She then lifted the glass lid over our free cupcake dish and stole two.
"You don't deserve free cupcakes!" I yelled at her as she literally skipped out of the shop.
As predicted Evan showed up at 5:04PM just as I was turning off the open sign. He banged on the glass so hard I almost jumped out of my underwear, which would have made things very awkward indeed. He was wearing black slacks and a white v-neck under shirt and how the fuck did he know I have a thing for v-neck undershirts?
"Fuck. Yes, hi." I said with a scowl as I let him in.
"Listen, Kare bailed so...maybe you want to go away now?"
"Yeah I know, she told me she was going to bail so we could have sex."
"She told you that? I can't believe I'm actually surprised. Of course she told you that. Well you can just stop smiling like an asshole because we are not having sex again. My time being a lunatic is now over. I thank you for helping to cure me-"
"With amazing sex." He put in.
"Yes, no. But now you ca-"
"Oh hiiiiiii." Came a purr from behind me. I turned my head and saw three colorful blobs coming towards me and Evan. When I turned back to Evan I saw him eying my eye candy girls appreciatively.
"Hi." He didn't miss a beat. Suddenly they were telling him which cupcakes tasted best in what positions. I'm not even kidding. I waited until Ann made it into his lap in a booth with a pink cupcake in her hand ready to feed it to him like a mother bird would feed her baby bird before I finally said something.
"This is not a sex shop! Everyone with sex on their mind get the hell out now! I have to clean up and I don't want to see things that will leave me scarred for fucking life! You fucking stupid peoples!" Everyone pouted...everyone.
"Well, geez, calm down please, we were just teasing around." Farah said glumly.
"Well go tease around somewhere else." I was feeling pretty vexed. Don't ask me why. An array of bye Evan's came out from three very sweet mouthes before I found myself alone with the boy.
"Um, why are you still here?" I was wiping down the counter and he was sitting at a booth.
"You look really hot in that outfit." I blushed hotly.
"That didn't really answer my question."
"It didn't?"
"Um...no?"
"You asked me why I was still here and I told you, you look really hot in that outfit." He smirked. I threw my rag at his face.
"You need to leave. You're a little too horny right now for me to be around you comfortably. I mean, I know three girls just tried to rape you but, I told everyone with sex on their mind to leave so, shoo now." He laughed, head thrown back and everything.
"You're really cute you know that? A bit of a crazy bitch, but still cute." He jumped out of the booth just as I came around the counter to kick him out and he grabbed my wrist, pulling me to him.
"Why don't you like me?"
"I don't like blonds. Especially not ones that are girlier than me."
"How am I girlier than you?" He didn't seem perturbed by my insults, he just quieted his voice as he brought his face a tad closer to mine.
"You dye your hair and wear brighter colors than me." He half smiled.
"Yeah and? Maybe you're just manlier than me."
"Ugh, same difference genius."
"Those the only reasons? They are pretty vain reasons if you ask me."
"Good thing I'm not asking you."
"Those aren't the real reasons you don't like me."
"Why did you ask me if you were going to be in denial about it?"
"I think you don't like me because you really do like me."
"What are you the Cheshire cat? Please leave now. I'm tired and in no mood to solve riddles."
"Stop it."
"Stop what?"
"Stop pushing me towards the door."
"No, I don't want you here anymore."
"I'm not leaving. Not without a kiss."
"Psh. You can kiss my ass if you want."
"Just a little one, right here, on my lips." He said pointing to his bottom lip. His other hand was still wrapped around my wrist and both of my hands were pushing him backwards towards the doors.
"Are you a masochist or something? Do you keep bothering me because I'm mean to you?"
"I don't know, be nice to me, let's see what happens."
"You are so weird."
"It's just a kiss, and then I'll leave, I promise."
"Promise?"
"Yes...I just said that."
"Shut up, fine." He now had his back against my glass door and my hands were on his chest. One of his hands reached up and curled around my neck and the other looped between my apron and my uniform and tugged me forwards. I jolted against him and my breath caught...from disgust, not from, like, hormones and whatnots...psh, no. I tilted my head up because I obviously hate myself and he tugged me the rest of the way to him. It freaked me out a little because all of our kisses before this one have been awkward, or uncomfortable, or rough, or etc. But this one was slow, and steady, and then it picked up suddenly and I was slamming myself against him. I heard my breath grow uneven and my blood pounding inside of me. What the fuck? Was I a mutant? Was I turning into Wolverine or something? Why could I suddenly smell everything about him, and feel every inch of his skin touching mine? It was freaking me out a little and his hand was buried in my hair and the other was bunched up in my apron. I had both my hands against the cold glass door, on either side of his waist. I pulled away because I had to before I exploded and put a good distance between us. I was happy to see that at least I wasn't the only one breathing like I had just been dunked under water. He had his head tilted down but his eyes were looking at me through his lashes like a freaking predator...which is so hot. It should not have turned me on the way it did. His chest was rising and dropping rapidly and for some insane reason I realized his arm hair was dark.
"You're not a natural blond." I stated stupidly. He seemed to not hear me, or maybe, in Evanland, "you're not a natural blond" is equivalent to "let's have sex" because suddenly he was coming towards me, fast.
"Gross, I'm such a slut. I had sex in a cupcake shop." I said as I lay in one of the booth's in said cupcake shop with Evan next to me. He let out a content little sigh as his index finger swirled around my belly button.
"Why are you a slut? It's your shop."
"So? We're snuggling in a booth. A booth little kids sit and eat cupcakes at. A booth I'm going to have to wash with acid. A booth your bare butt is all over! Oh my GOD I AM SUCH A SLUT!" I was sitting up ranting now and Evan was no doubt having no problems at all with this. I wouldn't have been surprised to turn around and find him eating crumpets. I felt him stroke my lower back and couldn't help but shiver a little.
"We need to never see each other again. I-I don't even know you. You don't even like me. I'm just a willing participant. Oh god, WILLING! Oh god, oh god oh god oh god." I repeated my oh gods until I had my bra and panties back on, I could hear Evan dressing himself as well.
"You really need to calm down. I think you freak out everytime we have sex."
"Because I don't usually have sex with strangers! I know that might be nothing new for you but I only have sex with people I care about!" I paled here. Yes, I'm having an episode, but I've never considered myself a slut and now that I am one it's killing my brain. No wonder all sluts are stupid; you have to give up all logic and common sense (and morals) in order to not feel guilty about having meaningless sex with people you don't care about.
"This is getting old Olivia." That is the first time he's ever said my name.
"I agree. So...just leave. I don't expect anything but...I never want to see you again." I stuck out my hand for him to shake, to, you know, seal the deal, or whatthefuckever. He looked down at my extended hand with a quirked eyebrow.
"You're kidding right?"
"No no just shake it!" I squealed. He grabbed it and pulled me to him; this was seriously getting old.
"AH STOP IT STOP IT NO! DON'T DO THAT! EVERYTIME YOU TOUCH ME I LOSE MY MIND!"
"Olivia! Shut the hell up and calm down!" He was getting angry, I could tell by the way he was YELLING IN MY FUCKING FACE.
"Geez ok you don't gots to be rude."
"Fuck you're a spaz. Seriously, if you never want to see me again then fine, I'll leave you alone...is that what you want?" He showed no emotion at all so I'd be damned if I was going to sit there and tell him he was the best sex I'd ever have and that NO I didn't want him to leave me alone because he made me feel pretty and sexy and wanted. Fuuuuuck that.
"Yes, that is what I want." His lips tightened.
"Fine. Bye." And with that he was gone...just like that.